Can We Talk About The Presidential Airport Greetings?

October 7, 2019

Nigeria is a country where many mysteries abound. Stranger move a little too close to you on the street? That could be your reproductive abilities walking away with them. Dare to pick unclaimed money from the floor? You just might be toying with being a major component of this afternoon’s pounded yam and egusi.

Genitalia thievery and human pounded yam supplements aside, there is another major mystery that just won’t let up in Nigeria – the mystery of the Presidential Airport Greeting (PAG ™ ).

You see, for a reason, I’m going to need divine guidance on, our president when travelling, totes around ministers, Governors and Special Assistants, all of whom before making the journey with him, line in front of the aircraft to congratulate? appreciate? or perhaps worship him.

I mean, take a look at this and note the people welcoming him aboard the aircraft to South Africa on October 2nd:

Notice Mr. Dollars and the guy in the red cap? Good.

Ah yes, all smiles, aboard the aircraft they all stood outside to welcome the Prez into. They’re probably happy they’re headed to a country that has light.

So let’s imagine this, they’ve spent hours on the ride to South Africa, making jokes about tissue paper or whatever TF has them so waved in front of that box. Some time has been spent learning tips from and discussing Ganduje’s Dollar stuffing prowess. Plus, Buhari has given a quick master class on working the best angles for the gram.

At the end of 5 hours, when it’s time to de-plane, do they:

a. Clap and thank God for journey mercies?

b. Line up outside the plane and welcome President Buhari, who they literally just spent five hours with, to a country they are all visiting together?

c. Oh God, it’s B isn’t it?

See your guys.

I will pay really, really good money to understand the logistics behind their filing out. Does Buhari unlook when they all stand up to ‘welcome’ him to another person’s land? Probably makes this face while everyone is getting up around him.

Then how long does he wait after they’ve all gone out? 5 minutes, 10? These are questions I need answers to, and fast.

If you have any theories, or can shed any light on this very pressing issue of the Presidential Airport Greeting ( PAG ™ ), let us know in the comments.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

October 11, 2020

On October 8, 2020, Nigerians trooped out in great numbers to protest the continued kidnapping, extortion, robbery and murder of Nigerians by members of the Special Anti-Robbery Squad, infamously known as SARS. The Nigerian populace has historically been strange bedfellows with protests and demonstrations. The people, after several decades of iron-gloved military rule, had become […]

May 30, 2019

Since time immemorial, well 1999 actually — Nigeria has celebrated its escape from pasty colonialists and military berets with a grand Democracy Day celebration. This day is usually characterised with a much needed public holiday, parades and the inauguration of successful candidates in the year’s elections. May 29th, 2019 was no different, only it kind […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 22, 2022

The typical Nigerian wedding is not complete without a souvenir for the guest to take home. From towels to wastebin, Nigerians never run out of souvenir ideas. Take the quiz to find out which souvenir you are. Go on:

Recommended Quizzes

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

More from Citizen

December 24, 2021

Abroad Life tells the stories of Nigerians who japa’d, but many times, the stories have a shocking twist.

From jaw-dropping stories of grand-scale internet fraud to heartbreaking stories of family betrayal, these are the top 10 most-read Abroad Life stories of 2021.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X