The Zikoko Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Buy Aso-Ebi

July 8, 2019

The concept behind Aso-Ebi is great. Get all of your friends and family to show up and show out decked in the same ‘fit. But here’s a fun fact about buying Aso-Ebi, it’s cost. And you know what’s even worse? Most of the time you can’t say no to it.

Still, you don’t have to buy every Amaka, Dami and Hauwa’s Aso-Ebi. Deciding whose to buy and who to say ‘thank you next’ to can be tricky, but I’m here to help.

Have you spoken to the person in the last year?

You might have been BFFs in primary school or secondary school, but if you haven’t spoken to the person in at least a year, you have no business buying their Aso-Ebi. You might have known what their favourite food, colour and musician were when you guys were 13, but you don’t even know their husband’s first name now and you want to spend your hard earned coins to buy their Aso-Ebi.

How close are you?

Do you know when’s a great time to assess just how important a friend is to you? When they ask you to buy their Aso-Ebi. Yes, you guys have gone for a couple of lunches together and are in one or two Whatsapp groups. But do you even know her middle name or where she works?

How many friends do you have?

Having a lot of friends is great. Especially during events like your birthday or your wedding. It’s not as great when ten of them decide to marry in two months and they all have Aso-Ebi for you to buy. It’s at that point you need to prioritize your friendships. Who forgot to call you on your last birthday? Who did you get into a fight with recently? It’s not like you are petty or you like to hold on to grudges, you just have to do what you need to do.

Is it family?

It’s easy to come up with excuses to not buy your friend’s Aso-Ebi, but it’s a whole lot harder with family. If it’s family you might just have no option but to buy it.

If it’s family, how close are you?

There’s family and there’s ‘family sha’. If the Aso-Ebi is for a first cousin you grew up seeing almost every holiday then, of course, you should buy it. If it’s for a fourth cousin removed, who you met once when you were ten years old and don’t even know what she currently looks like, save your money for the next Aso-Ebi gbese.

Do you have the colour at home?

If you are a veteran in this Aso-Ebi buying business, odds are you already have something like the fuchsia green and purple Aso-Ebi someone is trying to get you to buy. So if you have something that’s remotely close to the colour in your closet, you know what needs to be done. Save your coins.

Do you have someone to share with?

Let’s be honest if you are not the bride or the bride’s mother, nothing you are making out of the Aso-Ebi should need 6 yards. Find a mutual friend to split the cost with. Worst case scenario, if the material isn’t enough for what you want to sew, your tailor will help you add crepe to it.

Do you have shame?

Shamelessness is a powerful tool we should all have in our arsenal of emotions. Once you can’t be shamed the only times you’ll ever need to buy Aso-Ebi is when you really want to. When you are shameless no social media post subbing you or side eye for wearing something different to the wedding can move you.

Are you going to have to borrow money to buy it?

You’d think this would go without saying, but if you need to borrow money to buy anybody’s Aso-Ebi, including your best friend since you were a toddler. Don’t. Buy. It. Don’t offer to pay in instalments, don’t offer to pick it up on credit, just don’t buy it.

Most importantly, how much is it?

When it comes down to it, the most important determinant of whether or not you are going to buy that Aso-Ebi is how much it costs. Does it cost more than your monthly food and transport budget combined? Then nope. Does it cost more than the last really nice thing you bought for yourself? Then tell the bride no thank you.

See I know Nigerians don’t know how to take no for an answer, especially when there’s no good reason behind it. So here are 15 excuses you can use to avoid buying Aso-Ebi, when you really don’t want to.

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

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