14 Ways To Know Someone Who Has Done Money Rituals In 2021

October 10, 2021

These days, the prices of everything keeps going higher and higher. It’s scary how you can afford one thing today and be unable to afford it the next week. It’s almost as if the government wants us to dabble into blood money before we can afford anything at all. We need to go on our knees and beg whoever is in charge to please have mercy on us.

But before we do the actual begging, we have decided to fish out anybody who has done actual money rituals. If you know anyone who does any of the things on this list, please hold their clothes and don’t release them until they introduce you to their herbalist.

1. They still eat sardines.

Titus Sardine – Oven Fresh Bakery and Confectioneries

Do you know how much a tin of sardine costs now? Especially Titus sardine. It has jumped from being around N250 to N600. And that is what someone is still eating in the name of satisfying their cravings. Please hold them tight and beg them to introduce you to their herbalist. If you see anyone adding Geisha to their spaghetti too, please add them to the list.

2. They can still refill their gas cylinder.

Nigerian Brings 'Pay as You Cook' Technology to Rwanda – KT PRESS

There is nothing you can tell me: Anyone who still refills their gas cylinder in these trying times is definitely seeing a herbalist on the regular. Do you know how much 1kg of gas costs now? If you see anyone that is still using gas to cook and not charcoal or firewood, please give us their number. We need them to connect us.

3. They have more than 2k in their piggyvest

More than 2k in this economy? And you believe we don’t have ritualists walking around this life like normal people? We are not ashamed to say it: if you have anything above 2k in your account, you have done blood money. Tell us, who did you sacrifice?

4. They have a dollar account.

The Next Wave: Why Nigeria is rooting for the dollar | TechCabal

You still want to tell me that this category of people have not done money rituals? A dollar account when many of us are still battling to fill up our naira accounts? Ahan nau. Let’s call money ritual what it is, please.

5. They are still eating beans.

BEANS -OLOYIN (honey) - 4 Litres bucket - 24 Hours Market | Lagos, Nigeria

A bag of beans reportedly costs up to 100k now. And this is what someone is eating regularly? If you tell me to show you someone who did money rituals without telling me they did money rituals, I will just enter their kitchen and drag out their bag of beans.

6. They are doing crypto.

Why crypto is booming in Nigeria despite govt ban |

Believe me, believe me not, crypto traders in this economy have done money rituals. Oh yes, they have. Where did they find the money to invest in cryptocurrency, if not through juju?

7. They are doing NFT.

What Is an NFT? How Non-Fungible Tokens Work

In this tough economy, someone is minting NFTs and you think the source of their wealth is pure? This government has rendered us all penniless; where is anyone finding money to do NFT? Please call out money rituals when you see it, abeg.

8. They are in a serious relationship.

Being in a serious relationship requires financial commitments. You have to go on dates, buy gifts, do small cash gifts. How can one afford that in this economy where everything is upside down? Staying single is the best financial decision. Anyone who is doing love in this day and time, has plenty money and they need to show us the source.

9. They have money to run gen.

Generator Prices in Nigeria - GadgetGists

Fuel is too expensive. Anyone who isn’t using candles definitely needs to declare their assets ASAP.

10. They can still afford to eat bread

Za A Kara Wa Burodi Kudi A Fadin Nijeriya

A loaf of sliced bread is now about N700, if not more. What is worse, the smaller ones have increased in price and reduced in quality. Anyone who can afford to eat bread has definitely collected money soap from their herbalist. Please beg them to cut soap for us.

11. They still cook with palm oil and vegetable oil.

5 Food Items That Show You're A Wealthy Nigerian | Zikoko!

One question: HOW? Please show us the way nau, we are begging.

12. They still eat turkey and chicken.

Buy Frozen Turkey Online from the Market Food Shop

A kilo of turkey is now around N2,500. How can you eat something that cost as much as human flesh and expect us not to suspect you? Please reveal the source of your wealth.

13. They eat Titus fish.

Mackerel (Titus) Fish | poniglas

One Titus fish is now between N700 to N1,000. If you still eat it, there’s nothing to say: you have done blood money.

14. They are still alive.

funke-akindele-is-my-creator-asleep | Zikoko!

Yes oh, where are you finding the money to stay alive if not that you have done rituals? Especially in this economy where the price of everything is ready to cut your throat. So, are you ready to introduce us to your herbalist or should we blow the whistle?

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 20, 2020

Nigerian parents are the custodians of punishment and flogging. Their mantra is simple: “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” This explains why they get overzealous and go on a flogging spree. What’s the craziest thing you have ever been flogged for? Ours are below. 1. For crying. “Why are you crying? Ehn, answer me, […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 7, 2021

Selected entries to receive exclusive Masterclass with TY Bello and George Okoro Days after innovative Smartphone manufacturer Infinix Mobility launched its Zero X Pro device in Nigeria, the tech giant today announces the start of its #ZeroXChallenge. The Zero X Challenge is an initiative to inspire boundless creativity among Nigerians and empower the youth to […]

December 7, 2021

MTN Nigeria recently announced the price of its initial public offering to retail investors.The offer which opened at 8:00am on the 1st of December 2021 will close at 5:00pm on the 14th of December 2021 with a minimum subscription of 20 shares and lots of 20 shares thereafter. At the retail offer roadshow in Enugu […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X