All The Terrible Things Most Of Us Do. Yes, Even You.

December 5, 2018

When someone asks if you have a pen at the bank, and you say no, even though you just stole someone’s own five minutes ago.

So you can steal, but you don’t want them to steal from you. Got it.

When you open your wallet to give offering in church and you see like five ₦1000 notes, and one ₦500 note, if you drop the 500…

If it’s to drop ₦1000 in Ozone on Wednesday now, you’ll be making it rain oh.

We know Lagos can turn your heart to Coldstone, but if you always unlook when child beggars come to meet you, it’s not good oh.

Don’t try to act like you don’t do this.

When you’re alone with a baby and it starts crying, if you start copying its mouth and crying too, you are mean!!!

Big man like you, agbaya!

Or if you pinch a baby when it won’t stop crying, where is your heart?

Is this a thing? Did I just cast myself?

If you’ve ever balanced, called and shouted at MTN’s customer care attendants, please why?

They’re not the actual people that give your phone service. Just be spoiling Janet’s day for no good reason.

When new music comes out, and instead of buying it, you become a pirate.

My brother, this isn’t how life should be oh.

If you’ve ever quickly rushed or hidden food because you knew your friend was coming to visit, why, why, why?

Hmm, the heart of man is really wicked oh.

If you’ve ever scratched your balls, then reached out to shake somebody’s hand. I just… I don’t know where to start with you.

Please- I take God beg you, don’t visit this website again until you change. Ahan!

If you always block people from entering your lane, especially in this country where people drive like they’re mad, where your heart really dey?

Asking genuinely here.

If you’ve ever typed “LMAOOOOOOOOO, I’M DEADDDD”, when really your face looked like this:

Do you think your friend deserves that kind of treatment?
Boyin Plumptre

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