If You Were God For A Day, What Would You Change In Nigeria?

June 10, 2020

If you could play the role of God for one day, what would you do? Especially as a Nigerian citizen. What are some of the things you’d change?

Not to be obvious, but I’ll immediately ban Ikokore.

First point of duty. I’m sorry, Grandma.

Then revive all the dead Nigerian politicians and jail them.

Alongside the living ones.

I’ll also give my people Canadian prosperity with Nigerian enjoyment.

We no longer have to go to -10 degrees weather to escape bad governance.

Then I’ll abolish 9-5’s.

Oyar, everybody back into the garden. Osiso!

Maybe also print a shirt that says “look at God.”

Heh.

After that, I’ll fix the Nepa situation so I can iron my ‘look at God’ shirt.

Almost 60 years ffs.

Don’t cry, don’t beg, but Lagos has to go.

My children shouldn’t have to suffer like this.

I’ll smite everyone who sends Whatsapp Bc’s or has ever sent one.

Especially the Coronavirus conspiracy theorists.

I’ll make a quick trip to 1914.

‘Lugard my child, that’s a bad idea.’

For the grand finale, I’ll delete posts like this one from the internet.

I yield my time!

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 3, 2021

Travelling with a Nigerian passport is not the easiest thing. However, a couple of countries across the world allow Nigerians to visit without a visa. Find some of them here: Travelling with a Nigerian passport is quite a task. With the Nigerian passport ranking 101 out of 199 countries, there are not many visa-free countries […]

Nigeria New Constitution
October 28, 2020

Nigerians are wondering if we can vote for a new constitution. The curiosity began, again, when Chileans voted on October 25, 2020, for a new constitution. 78% of Chileans voted in the referendum that the constitution should be re-written, and 79% voted that the constitution should be written by new writers elected by the people. […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 22, 2022

The typical Nigerian wedding is not complete without a souvenir for the guest to take home. From towels to wastebin, Nigerians never run out of souvenir ideas. Take the quiz to find out which souvenir you are. Go on:

Recommended Quizzes

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X