Love Life: We Fell In Love Without Ever Meeting

November 26, 2020

Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

Audio: We Fell In Love Without Ever Meeting

*Klaus, 28, and Lilian, 24, have been in a romantic relationship for about a year without ever meeting each other. For today’s Love Life, they talk about their love and how they cope with a long-distance relationship. 

long distance relationship

What’s the relationship here?

Lilian: Klaus and I are dating. 

Klaus: Lilian is the love of my life. 

How did you meet?

Lilian: In December 2018, we met in a school fellowship group chat.

Klaus:  There was a send-off party organised for her academic class and after the party, they posted some pictures in the group and that was how I saw her picture. My first reaction was, “Wow! This girl has an incredible smile.” So, I sent her a private message. 

Lilian: Really? I didn’t even know this.

Adorable. At what point did you fall for each other? 

Klaus: After talking for a while, we built a rapport. Although she was a little sceptical, the conversations we had were pretty decent. 

Lilian: For me, it wasn’t immediate. It was January or February 2019 when we would talk for 30 – 45 minutes on the phone. We had similar interests. He knew how to sew and I was just learning.

At some point, I realised that I was always looking forward to telling him about my day. That was when it hit me like, “Come oh, you like this guy.”

How soon after did you start dating?

Lilian:  This is a bit complex because I remember he told me he was going back to our school to get something, and then he casually mentioned he was going to see his girlfriend.

Omo, I felt like I was just there catching feelings no one was throwing at me. I started withdrawing because I didn’t want intense conversations anymore. I decided to bury my feelings.

Klaus: What? Really?

Lilian: Yes na. At some point, he told me he had broken up with his girlfriend, but I wasn’t convinced. Then when I went to NYSC camp in November 2019, we resumed talking for hours on the phone. My friends even started teasing me. The emotions I thought I had pushed aside came flooding back. 

Ahhh. I thought we buried those.

Lilian: Same oh. But when he travelled and I couldn’t reach him for several weeks, I started acting weird, snapping at people. Thoughts of him filled my head and it was so invasive.

I tried to deny those feelings because I knew we had not defined things. It was annoying because our story wasn’t a typical boy-meets-girl-and-goes-on-dates-with-her. I was mad at myself because I felt all these emotions without ever meeting him.

Deep down, I knew I was in love with him, but I didn’t want to be the first person to say it. Then on Christmas Day last year, I was about to sleep when he texted me, “I love you.” I called him back immediately and that’s how it started. 

Klaus: I think timing is everything. By the time I asked her out, she was in a better place to accept my request. That night was something else for me. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t call because I was lost for words.

How do you manage the distance? Do you fight often? 

Klaus: What? Makers of peace like us?

Lilian: Haha. I wouldn’t call what we have ‘fights’; they are more of disagreements. On my end, I am very reserved and like to keep to myself a lot. Sometimes, I tend to unplug from things and it affects the relationship.

We had an argument and that was when I realised that this relationship is different. Most times, I ghost completely after an argument and that’s the end, but in this case, I love how he makes me feel, so we end up sorting things out.

Klaus: I understand that you are very introverted and all but sometimes, I require more. You come through but only with a lot of cajoling on my end. 

Lilian: It’s not all the time na. It’s rare. 

Klaus: Mami, I never really register those things as serious issues. It was just the time when you had serious issues with expressing yourself and it put most of the communication on me. It wasn’t easy. I just think you need to put in a little more effort.

Have you guys ever tried to meet in person? 

Lilian:  We made plans but then Corona hit, so now, we are making new arrangements. 

Klaus: I have it all planned out. Problem is, I have a few work commitments so I just can’t go to see my baby girl yet. 

What’s the hardest part about long-distance dating?

Lilian: Not being able to have the simplest conversations with him physically present. I can’t wait till we see because if just talking to him makes me feel this way, then being with him physically should be explosive. 

Klaus: There is a special feeling that comes with being physically present with a lover. The heightened senses, prolonged moments of intimacy and longer periods of communication without uttering a single word. I just want to spend physical time with my love. 

This is just beautiful. How do you guys deal with the urge to…yunno?

Lillian: Yunno what?


Klaus: We recite by heart the book of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob until the urge to…yunno…dies a premature death. 

LMAO. Killing the spirit of horniness with the good book. Love it. 

Klaus: I like to fantasize for a bit without dwelling too much on it, seeing as nothing can be done about that. Sometimes, I call her and we talk for a while. That’s as good as it gets.

Lilian: Haha. I’m actually speechless by the way but yes. The urge comes and goes. I know I won’t look great as a pregnant corper so that quickly kills the urge anyway. I’m just paranoid, that’s it. 

Wait, is this a celibate relationship? 

Lilian: Yes. 

Klaus: I don’t think so. We are too far apart to define that aspect of our relationship right now. 

Are you worried the chemistry won’t be there in person? 

Klaus: Well, we do a lot of video calls, so I don’t think that’ll be the case.

Lilian: Oh, I’m sure I’m going to like him in person. 

Klaus: You’re making me shy. Haha. My fear is that the time we might get to spend with each other might not be enough for me. 

What do you want the first meeting to look like? 

Klaus: I would prefer the initial moments of our first encounter to be private, so that if there are any bits of excitement, it would be for our sole consumption. Then by the time we’ve exhausted all that excitement, we can look for a public space. I think we might spend a lot of time indoors. 

Lilian: I don’t want it too planned out because there’s already anxiety and nerves. I just want something fun. 

Is this your first time in a long-distance relationship?

Klaus: Yes, it is. Compared to my previous relationships, this feels better too. We have such a strong emotional and intellectual connection. She is the smartest woman, so it feels better.

 Lilian: This is also my first time in this kind of relationship. It still surprises me how I’m able to adapt so much. I usually call him my uncharted territory.

You know how you don’t realise how thirsty you are until you take cool water. That’s how this relationship feels to me. I didn’t know what I was missing until I had it. Bliss. 

What would you consider your biggest fear in this relationship?

Klaus: Not making the best out of the relationship. Caving in to the pressure and expectations people have of us.

Lilian: I fear that in the long run, we will start to yearn for more physical proximity, and the fact that we aren’t in the same city will affect that. 

Would you be willing to change cities to be with each other? 

Klaus: Without hesitation.

Lilian: You’re going to make me cry. Changing cities for me is a huge thing just because I have my family to consider. If work can move me there, then fine. That’s the concrete reason I want to raise with my mum when having that conversation. 

What do you love the most about each other? 

Lilian:  I love that we have things in common so that when we are talking, he doesn’t get lost. I love how much he pays attention to details. Most importantly, I love how he loves me. I love you, baby boy. 

Klaus: I’m glad I got to meet someone like my chubbylove. It’s rare to find someone so special. My introverted sugar and spice mami. She is truly irreplaceable in my life. 

Lilian: Awwn, babe!

Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Sex Life newsletter, so sign up here.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill this form.

Eris Ekanem

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 20, 2021

Paul*, 23, and Keside*, 32, have been dating for four years. In today’s episode of Love Life, they talk about meeting online, transitioning to a long-distance relationship and eventually deciding to open up their relationship.  What’s your earliest memory of each other? Paul: We met on Grindr in 2017. I remember I was on a […]


Now on Zikoko

Rich Nigerian Auntie
June 23, 2021

A rich Nigerian auntie doesn’t refer to those aunties from your father’s side that do nothing but comment on your weight and ask you when you’d be getting married. The rich Nigerian auntie is an aesthetic bigger than one person — and here’s how to be sure you are one… 1. You have the dress […]

June 23, 2021

They say, “money is not everything” but have you seen credit alerts? Particularly these 5 Types listed below? 1. Alert from someone who said “send your account number” ages ago This is how wide you’ll smile. May such people not sleep until they’ve credited you oh. 2. Salary alerts Especially when your salary has finished […]

June 23, 2021

Music they say gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. Music is healing, it is an explosive expression of humanity, something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we’re from, everyone loves music and that is why we are particularly excited about this […]

June 23, 2021

The morning after having sex should be the most romantic, regardless of the relationship you have with the woman you just had sex with. You have to be grateful for her act of service. How you greet her the morning after is the easiest way to show your gratitude. Here’s a list of ways to […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

More from Love Life

June 17, 2021

Femi*, 26, and Yemisi*, 25, have been dating for two years. Today on Love Life, they talk about helping each other grow and be better people and how the lockdown helped them transition into a long distance relationship. What’s your earliest memory of each other?  Yemisi: In November 2018, I asked people on my Twitter […]

long distance relationship
June 3, 2021

Ore, 28, and Lekan, 30, got engaged last year after dating for about a year. Today on Love Life, they talk about meeting in church as teenagers, reconnecting as adults and how they got God’s confirmation that they are meant to be.   What is your earliest memory of each other? Ore: In 2006, my family […]

May 27, 2021

Akintunde, 35, and ‘Depeju, 26, knew they would marry each other after speaking on the phone for the first time. For today’s Love Life, they talk about fighting for the first few months of their relationship, how they got past that and what it feels like to become parents.

May 20, 2021

Paul*, 23, and Keside*, 32, have been dating for four years. In today’s episode of Love Life, they talk about meeting online, transitioning to a long-distance relationship and eventually deciding to open up their relationship.  What’s your earliest memory of each other? Paul: We met on Grindr in 2017. I remember I was on a […]

Love life: closure
May 6, 2021

Abeni*, 22, and Ifunanya*, 26, met on Twitter and dated for six months. Today on Love Life, they talk about their relationship and why it ended abruptly even though it was the best one they had both been in.  What is your earliest memory of each other? Ifunanya: One day, I was scrolling on Twitter […]

Love life:
April 29, 2021

Chika, 30, and Esther, 28, started off as platonic friends. Nine years into their friendship, Esther realised she had fallen in love, but Chika hadn’t. Today on Love Life, they discuss moving from friends to best friends, and now a married couple who are “joined at the hip”. What’s your earliest memory of each other? […]

April 22, 2021

Jennifer, 28 and Emem, 26, have been dating for eight months. In today’s episode of Love Life, they talk about navigating a lesbian relationship in Nigeria and learning to work together as business partners.  What’s your earliest memory of each other? Jennifer: I was walking back from the gate after seeing my friend off. I […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.