Nigerian Men, Here’s What Your Shirt Says About You

December 2, 2021

We have written about what your pants say about you and like the cheerful givers that we are, here is what your shirt says about you. You are welcome.

1. Fitted t-shirts 

If you wear fitted t-shirts, you are an ashawo that never got over your secondary school slim-fitting clothes era. You do not like tight clothes–no one does. You are just looking for an excuse to show everybody your hard-earned muscles and for that, we are judging you. 

2. Vintage shirts 

This shirt says that you are ready for old age (and baldness). If you wear vintage shirts, what is your plan? To manifest some inner mafia boss energy? Why this?  

3. Button-down long-sleeved shirts 

If you are wondering what this shirt says about you, say no more. This one is for people destined to work as customer care agents and tellers. You probably even have two of each colour. 

4. Denim shirt 

If you wear this shirt, we have the early 2000s on the phone; they want their mascot back. You probably still think fondly about your “Shambala and Ama kip-kip” wearing days. This says a lot, not a good lot, but a lot. 

5.  Bishop Collar shirt 

You wear bishop shirts so that people will immediately know that you do not like being tied down. You do not understand the concept of buttons, seeing as you always have more than three open. We get it, you’re a hoe. 

6. Polo shirt 

What are you, 6? Even if you are rich as fuck and you go golfing, why would you dress like that? Your mum wore you a polo shirt once as a child and you never got over it. If you wear those striped ones, go stand in a corner and hide your face forever. 

7. Flannel shirts 

Why and how is this still a part of your wardrobe? This trend should have died in 2012 when we all thought the world was going to end. If you wear this type of shirt, I am just going to assume that you still wear skinny jeans and a shirt inside so you can tie your flannel shirt on your waist. Please, heal. 

8. Short-sleeved shirts 

Here is what your shirt says about you. You don’t understand the limits of being casual, not in fashion, and definitely not in relationships. 90% of the time, you are underdressed for every occasion. Do better.

9. Branded shirts 

You are a yahoo boy, no argument there. Sha stop stealing from people. How do you people wear this shit? Why is it the only thing you ever see in the market?

10. Silk shirts 

Whatever you think you are, you are not it. Nigeria is hot as hell, why are you wearing silk under hot sun? You think you are sexy but you look like a walking bonnet. You look cool sha but I am still judging you. 


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