Love Life: We Are So Aligned, It’s Unbelievable

June 3, 2021

Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.



Audio: We’re So Aligned, It’s Unbelievable

Ore, 28, and Lekan, 30, got engaged last year after dating for about a year. Today on Love Life, they talk about meeting in church as teenagers, reconnecting as adults and how they got God’s confirmation that they are meant to be.  

What is your earliest memory of each other?

Ore: In 2006, my family and I moved to Ikorodu. We joined a church there and that’s when I met Lekan. I was 14 at the time. He was 16. We were in the same drama group. I remember texting him all the time on my flip phone. 

Lekan: I was already crushing on her. She was in secondary school, and I just finished. I remember I always wanted her to be at our drama meetings. There was a time her mum was taking her to school, and she wore her boarding house wear. I texted her something about her being beautiful. Later when she came back from school, she told me her mum saw the text. I thought I was in trouble, but nothing came out of that. 

Ore: LOL! I don’t even remember that. 

Lekan: I even asked her out then but she gave a clever response — that she wasn’t ready for a relationship — and I respected it. Shortly after, she and her family moved. 

So how did you two become a thing?

Ore: After my family moved out of Ikorodu in 2010, Lekan and I lost contact. We found each other again in 2016 when I was doing my masters in the UK. I was in church one day and his face flashed in my head. I have this habit of checking in on people or praying for them when I think of them. That day, I was wondering why I thought of him, so I went to find him on Facebook. I did, then I messaged him and we chatted. We exchanged numbers afterwards. 

He would always text to check up on me and make sure I was doing okay. I wanted to see him when I moved back to Nigeria, but I didn’t want to be the one to initiate it.

Why?

Ore: Back then, I felt like our conversations were too casual to try to push for anything more. I thought he wanted us to just be text buds, and I was okay with that. 

Lekan: For me, I was wondering what she was thinking. I didn’t know if she was in a relationship or married. We kept in touch from when we reconnected in 2016 till 2019 when I finally decided to let her know my feelings. I told one of my female friends about her, and she advised me to tell her. Her birthday is in June, so I got her office address and sent her gifts. I wrote her a long message asking her out but my friend advised against sending it with the gifts. So I sent her the message two weeks later.  

Ore: Before he sent that message, I had felt the need to pay more attention to him in my spirit. When he asked me out. It made sense, but I was sceptical about whether I wanted to date him or not. I liked him as a friend — I liked that he often checked up on me and I loved our conversations. I told him I was going to pray about it. 

In the past, I have been in relationships where I would get a red flag from God after praying but would go ahead with the relationships. I didn’t want that to happen with Lekan. I was already in a place of prayer when he asked me out, so I just added it to the things I wanted to talk to God about. On the second day of my prayers, I got a sign but I didn’t trust it because it felt like the sign came because I was already thinking about dating Lekan. I prayed some more and this time, I asked God to give me a sign that this was the right thing to do. I asked for a confirmation from someone I looked up to spiritually. 

Sometimes God can be funny because he sent my confirmation through my mum. At the time, I was working at Yaba, so my mum and I used to drive to work together. One day, on our way to work, I asked her if she remembered Lekan. She did and said she knew his mum from the church in Ikorodu. I told her what he said. My mum was surprised because she was praying about the man I would bring home as my husband, and she got an idea of what the man would look like. The description she gave me was exactly like Lekan. It was scarier when she said she had gotten the message a long time ago but didn’t want to share it with me so as to not pressure me. 

I still didn’t tell him yes because I have felt more for the guys that I have dated in the past than I did for Lekan at that time. I was asking myself if I could hold the relationship without a little bit of obsession. As I deliberated this, I got another message to write down the things I wanted in a man. I was surprised when I listed 25 things because it wasn’t something I had thought about. I decided that I would date Lekan for a few weeks to see how he is. After a while, I just knew he was meant to be my husband. 

Lekan: That lockdown period was great because we got to spend time together. It made it easy to love her. We got engaged last year. We are looking forward to getting married later this year. You know our relationship is long-distance…

Wait, when did that happen? 

Ore: It has always been a long-distance relationship. I came back and he left the country. Imagine that? 

Lekan: Honestly, it doesn’t even feel like long-distance because we talk a lot — a lot of video calls and texting. 

Nice! Now I am curious about how the engagement happened. 

Lekan: I was in Nigeria for the holidays.

Ore: I am still beefing him sef. He didn’t kneel down. I told him that he will do it again. 

Lekan: LOL! It was a lot of pressure. I even watched YouTube videos to learn the best way to propose. On Christmas Day, I told Ore I wanted to go on a date. At the restaurant, I arranged with the waiters at the buffet to bring the ring at a specific time while one of my relatives would come with a camera to take pictures. When we got there, the restaurant was full, and I became shy. I asked for the ring back and told my relative not to bother. We were sitting when I told Ore I wanted to do something but I couldn’t kneel down.

Ore: I said, “Sure, no problem.” What made it better for me was the fact that he asked. I thought it was sweet.  

What is the best part of the relationship? 

Ore: We are so aligned, it’s unbelievable. I always tell him he is a better person than I am. I ask him a lot of questions and he always answers. He is a safe space for me.  

Lekan: For me, it’s the fact that we are quite similar. I always feel like we were meant to be. 

What was your biggest fight about? 

Ore: We have disagreements. One time we had an issue, and he noticed I was upset about it. He kept apologising until I snapped and asked why he was still saying sorry. We resolved that issue, but later on, we learned about apology languages and I understood why I was upset that day. Repeat apologies don’t work for me — I want to know that the person is going to change their behaviour. Understanding that has helped us navigate difficult situations. 

What’s your favourite thing about each other?

Lekan: I love how ambitious she is. 

Ore: I love how selfless he is. I remember when I told him that Uber was eating all of my money, and he said he would send me transportation money monthly. He is always willing to help without expectations. 

Rate your relationship on a scale of 1 – 10.

Ore: 10. He is someone my soul loves and I think what we have is beautiful. 

Lekan: 9, because I don’t want everything to seem too perfect. I love being in a relationship where you can talk about anything and know that someone is listening to you. When we have disagreements, it’s easy to navigate because we can both see the actions that have been taken. We are both willing to change for the other person. 

Subscribe HERE.

Subscribe here.

Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Sex Life newsletter, so sign up here.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill this form.

Mariam Sule

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

October 27, 2020

On October 29, 2020, we’ll be launching Love Life, a new Zikoko series about relationships, situationships and entanglements. In preparation, we created this quiz to answer a burning question we know you have — are you ready for true love? Let’s find out.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

July 24, 2021

Puff puff is a popular African snack. It is basically fried dough. Some people love pepper in it, while some people don’t like it at all. Today, we’re going to teach you how to make puff puff. First, you get your ingredients: Flour (duh) Yeast Warm water Salt Sugar Cooking oil Now that you have […]

Sex Life
July 24, 2021

Whether you’ve been reading Zikoko Sex Life for two years or you’re reading it for the first time today, here are some stories you must enjoy at least twice. 1. Awakening My Bisexuality At 27 I remember when we were making out, it was so intense that I suddenly felt the urge to tell this […]

July 23, 2021

On Saturday, July 24, 2021, the Lagos State Independent Electoral Commission (LASIEC) will conduct an election to elect the next chairman and councillors in the 20 local government areas and the 37 local council development areas in the state.  Why should you care about this? Provisions in the 1999 constitution and the Electoral Act of […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

More from Ships

Sex Life
July 24, 2021

Whether you’ve been reading Zikoko Sex Life for two years or you’re reading it for the first time today, here are some stories you must enjoy at least twice. 1. Awakening My Bisexuality At 27 I remember when we were making out, it was so intense that I suddenly felt the urge to tell this […]

July 22, 2021

It started with this tweet. Someone didn’t think this was necessary. But the rest of you were like: Here we go. P.S: This is not dating advice 🙂 1. Sounds fair, no? 2. What is yours is ours 3. I hear you. I hear you. 4. And they say the complete package doesn’t exist 5. […]

July 19, 2021

Not everyone hates their exes, some people still have fond memories of the ones who got away. Sometimes, relationships don’t work for reasons beyond our control and some people still hold their exes dear to them. Here are what some people have to say about their favourite ex: David, 35 I have known her since […]

July 19, 2021

Dating your coworker can be tricky because if it ends in tears, you might end up jobless. Here’s a guide to making sure that doesn’t happen to you.  1.Check if they wear a ring often It is one thing to date a coworker and another thing to date someone else’s partner. If their relationship is […]

July 17, 2021

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old heterosexual woman. She talks about how her first sexual relationship ended in shame because her partner spread gossip about the sex and how her fear of being tagged promiscuous prevented her from having sex with the men in her social circle. What was your first sexual experience? […]

Love life image with a lesbian couple
July 15, 2021

Ella, 23, and Adaora, 21 have been dating for eleven months. Today on Love Life, they talk about navigating a relationship after Adaora ran away from home, learning how to set boundaries and their future plans for each other.   What is your earliest memory of each other?  Adaora: My first memory was when we first […]

July 13, 2021

Friendships are harder to form as adults but easier to maintain, especially if you befriend people who understand that you’re both busy and have lives outside of each other but can make time when necessary. Here are seven ways to make friends as adults. 1. Stand on the road and beg people You can have […]

July 10, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 26-year-old bisexual man who talks about being sexually abused as a kid and how that led his developing a sexual addiction and finding it hard to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X